New Relationship Energy

NRE.  New Relationship Energy.  For the uninitiated, it's what many poly folks call the 'walking on clouds' feeling you get when you've just started seeing someone new and you think about them every five minutes.  It's a great feeling, makes everything in the world seem a little bit brighter.

Even though I've known him for close to a year now, I feel like over the holidays we've opened some new doors in our relationship.  I'm finding myself feeling that special obsession.  Memories of his kisses, and imaginings about more of them keep popping up and then I'll give a little involuntary sigh of pleasure.  Mmm.  Of course, today we shared a racy 'texting's-too-difficult-better-use-the-phone' call this afternoon, which left us both in a state of post orgasmic bliss.  So that just gives me so much more to sigh about.

NRE is wonderful, but I need to be considerate of a few other people in the equation, namely Jute and Kit.  Jute is easier for me, afterall he's my husband.  I have a better understanding of his worldview and what's going to trigger his insecurities than Kit.  I also have pretty much constant access to him to monitor his well being.  Kit on the other hand is slightly an enigma.  As far as I can tell she and I get along wonderfully, she's easy to converse with and I consider her a friend.  However I just plain don't know her very deeply and therefore can't feel as secure about her perspective as I would like to feel.  I wonder if she and Raven's relationship is really as secure as it seems... perhaps only because that's a big part of what burned me with Star and Carter.

I also wonder how she feels about me. Is she only interested in friendship or is there maybe more than that.  Personally it's harder for me to tell if a woman is interested in me than a man is.  Maybe that's just caused by my lack of experience with the ladies, or maybe it has to do with my perception of what female friendship looks like versus male friendship.  It seems like there's more overlap between what is flirting and what's 'just-friends' when I'm interacting with a woman.  I'm not sure how I feel about developing a physical or romantic connection with Kit either.  That has more to do with my feelings about dating couples in general than with Kit specifically though.  She is a very attractive woman with a great personality.  If only I wasn't already becoming involved with her boyfriend.

Jute tends to look at things differently than me.  He thinks a "V" relationship is inherently less stable than a equilateral triad.  I don't know what to think about that though.  I think I'll leave that as food for thought for another day.