New Girl

Jute had a new partner come over for dinner tonight.  He met Lane a couple weeks ago through craigslist.

Jute is much different than I in how he views sex with strangers.  He has no qualms about having a purely carnal encounter.  In fact, the idea turns him on.  From a risk management standpoint I'm not comfortable with him having one night stands, so our negotiated boundary has been that he only meets people for sex if they have the potential to become a repeat partner.  Before he met Lane he was looking for a new 'fuck buddy' because the woman he was been seeing for that had moved out of state.  I never met that woman because there was never an emotional connection; thus I was nonplussed about her existence, and he didn't feel the desire to introduce her to the rest of his life, and she wasn't interested in being part of it either.

Lane was a different experience for him.  He hadn't expected anything more than the physical connection, but upon meeting her he was happily surprised that she was someone he was genuinely interested in befriending and dating.  I've been really happy for him.  Not only am I excited for him to have this beautiful potential relationship developing, but I'm also happy because it seemed like his interest in Lane was another step in getting past the hurt he's harbored since losing Star.

I enjoyed meeting Lane.  She's not a person I would have noticed on my own, but I felt pretty comfortable hanging out with her and could see us getting to be friends eventually.  I'm sure Jute would love for us to become more - poor guy - he really misses having group sex.  However I'm hesitant to head in that direction.  Firstly because I'm not into sex with people I've just met, but also I'm not a big fan of group sex.  I've found that having sex with two or more partners is too complicated emotionally for me.  I feel inadequate when it comes to balancing the attention given to each person, and spend so much of the time focused on how everyone else is feeling in a given moment that I don't relax and enjoy the process.

I'm not knocking the idea of group sex in general.  It just hasn't worked as well for me.  I'd be interested in trying again someday.  But someday in the future.  I'm glad it wasn't tonight.